What's In A Name?

So today I had to take the day off from work and visit the dentist. Last night I lost a crown during dinner and I was able to get an emergency appointment this morning to have the tooth cleaned up and a temporary crown put on. needless to say, I'm a bit sore right now. And, to add insult to injury (or maybe it should be injury to injury,) Dr. Brad found that my only other crown (from a root canal I had done 15 plus years ago,) also needs to be replaced. All of this happened to the tune of $500 - give or take $50. Oh, well, as Mel said, "We may live in the south, but I'm not being married to a guy with no teeth!" In any case, the trip got me to thinking about something I've contemplated before.

Having been named for the A. A. Milne character, my given first name is Christopher. At eleven letters long, it's not the longest name in existence, but it is longer than average. This fact was never really an issue when I was younger, but as I aged and the world became more dependent on computers, a funny thing started happening. I was first annoyed and then somewhat amused that most computer databases only allow ten spaces for a first name. They often make allowances for longer last names but rarely have I run into any kind of computerized system (and where do you NOT run into one of those these days?) that didn't want to truncate my name. There is many a governmental or medical data base that knows me as Christophe. I don't mind so much, but I'd love someone who knows more about this than I to explain exactly how much is saved by denying me my "r."

OK, I told you that to tell you this. In more recent years I've noticed a new trend in computerized systems. It seems that in our daily lives, into which we try to cram all manner of time saving and space saving gimmicks, computers have started to shorten things even further. Now our computer desktops are littered with scalable "tabs" with titles. Sometimes these "tabs" become the source of some deep thought - well, they do for me at least.

I was sitting in the dentist's chair earlier waiting for the dull ache in my lower right jaw to be replaced by that blissful yet awkward numb feeling that leads to much drooling and an embarrassing grimace. Having already counted all the ceiling tiles in the cubicle in which I now found myself reposing, I turned my head to the side to look at the computer monitor that was displaying my most recent bite wing x-rays for the offending tooth. I examined the screen for a while noting the post and crown on the adjacent tooth which also requires replacing. But soon my eyes started to wander and my gaze drifted to the bottom of the screen where each of the open software applications was represented by a small labeled tab. Most of these didn't mean anything to me but one caught my eye. It was again a case of where the computer's need to save space and memory cost me part of my name - only this time the resulting label was...well...thought provoking. There at the bottom of the screen was a little bar labeled, "Patient Record For Christ." Now there's a medical record I'd like to read. I had to wonder - what exactly would be in Christ's patient record? Suffers from stigmata? Lacerations of the forehead? Most likely our modern medical establishment would label him schizophrenic - "Suffers from delusions of grandeur." "Believes himself to be the son of God." Think about it - what chance would Christ have in our modern pharmaceutically over-dosed society? Me thinks there would be a straight-jacket and lots of diazepam in his future. Mind you, I'm not saying that's the way He should be treated, just that I doubt He would get very far in today's world. We need Him more than ever now, but I'm just not sure we'd actually accept him for who he is. Think about it - even those of you with strong Christian faith - what would be your honest reaction if someone came up to you and told you he was the son of God? Honestly? Maybe I'm just cynical, but I think we'd end up just dismissing him as another kook.

In a related thought, I've noticed that the same issue with my name has come up elsewhere. I do a lot of on-line browsing and shopping (more browsing than actual shopping,) and one of my favorite sites is Amazon. I use Amazon a lot to find album covers so I can add artwork to my iTunes files. In any case, I have an account with Amazon and anytime I log on with my own computer, I get, "Welcome Christopher Hofmann" near the top of my screen and along the top edge is a line of labeled tabs. On of them is a shortcut that reads, "Christ's Amazon." And again I have to wonder - what would be on Christ's wish list? A Holy Bible? Maybe, but which one? Who's translation? And Christ reading a bible is like William Rand and Andrew McNally reading an atlas - sort of a been-there-done-that kind of thing. I'd like to think He might be more interested in reading Ayn Rand, Alvin Toffler, or Jaczues Barzun. Not that I think He'd be agreeing with these writers; just attempting to get a read on today's society (pun definitely intended.) I'd like to think that Christ is someone who would seek to understand many different view points - not someone who would just dismiss anyone who disagreed with him. And what about movies or music. Would He only be interested in praise music? Gospel perhaps? I tend to think not. Sure, He would understand the importance of music in worship and as a way for man to express himself, but Jesus was pretty hip guy and I bet his iPod would be filed with a very eclectic mix of modern and classic tunes. Maybe some Pink Floyd mixed in with Mozart (oh wait, that's my iPod!)

In any case, it makes for some interesting contemplation. I'd love to hear what you think might be on His "Wish List."